We all have in our heads a general idea of what we want from life – some people want to raise a family, others want to be successful in their chosen careers; whilst some are quite happy journeying through and making decisions as they go along. Each “path” is completely valid, and no one choice is superior to another. However, we do happen across obstacles that make us question our choices – and these obstacles can come in varying forms: individuals and their actions, situations that force us to change our priorities, and even events taking place that cause us to naturally change our opinions and mindsets to that which is the complete opposite of what we originally believed in.
Sometimes we have to take a step back and try to understand why we are put in these positions – whether that is to learn something about ourselves, relate to others, or simply experience it so that we can gage similar situations we find ourselves in later on in life.
One thing you must always keep in mind when going through such ‘ordeals’ as this, is that you should never lose yourself, your values, your beliefs. By all means adapt and take on differing stances from what you are used to, but at your core, never lose yourself.
This in itself is exceptionally easy to say out loud, but not quite so easy to implement in your day to day activities; for example, if we truly like a person, we (well, I know I do) naturally start altering things about ourselves in a way we feel that person would prefer – even if we always muse the “I will not change anything about myself for a person, they either like me for me, or they can take a hike!” It is a subconscious act that we are shyly aware of, yet cannot help but allow to happen, as we cannot help what our hearts desire.
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses is always a difficult task to implement, but once you understand yourself, you can quite acutely look at situations and other people and know how to approach them in a way that has the most opportune outcome.
Take me for instance, I have recently come to the conclusion that alcohol brings out the worst in me (of course, alcohol, in any large quantity, brings out a side in people that we would sooner not have to deal with), but to the extent it may seriously start damaging my character, my own mental wellbeing and my relationships; therefore I am taking the steps to no longer indulge in such behaviour, as I am very aware that my mental health is severely compromised under the influence of alcohol – my outlook on various things is blurred beyond reason and I make stupid decisions.
A clear mind is forever the best way to fully understand your choices in life.
But whilst it is relatively easy to make a poor decision, realise, dwell and question EVERYTHING surrounding that decision – why you did it, how you did it, how it will affect those around you as well as yourself – you also have to understand that it happened.
There is a saying:
“Live life with no regrets.”
And whilst that is all well and good in theory, there are so many things we do in life that we regret and wish we had never done – the way to move forward is acceptance. It happened, you can only make further choices to either make amends if you feel it is necessary, or acknowledge it happened and allow that experience to make your character stronger.
The worst thing you can do in that situation is to continually worry about what has happened and bring it up with those involved – it will only add stress to yourself and potentially push those you are trying to win over away.
Naturally, we want the best for ourselves and those around us, but that is not so easily come by without hard work and patience.
[Insert Oprah analogy here]
Just know in yourself who you are as a person, what you wish from life, and to, ultimately, understand not everything is what it seems.
’til next time.